After having spent the last two months focused on developing one specific story, it is time for a reset. You know; sit back. Relax. Put on some classical music. Debussy? Satie? Maybe a little bit of Chopin. Let the mind wander. If only it were that easy.
Providing the amount of thought and scrutiny needed to give a narrative world its depth, even if only a small minority will be able to perceive the nuances, can be exhausting. You know how it goes, if you’ve been following this station for a while; though last year, I called the phenomenon a “burnout” when I wrote about it. I recognize now that it is often times a necessary ritual to perform.
When you focus on such a project for that long, you are also, in a way, limiting your perspective by living in that world, no matter how wide-encompassing you try to keep yourself. So, in order to write something fresh, you’ve got to lean back. Open yourself back up. Get out of your groove; out of the zone. Otherwise, you will gobble those old ideas right back up in your next endeavor. Not that it is necessarily a bad thing to do, of course. “Treasured Pair,” after all, prototypes a magic system I have been developing for the past few years. Reusing patterns is especially fine if those characteristics are what people know and love your writing for. But that is a topic for another day.
Now, with the weekly posting schedule of the station, I cannot simply hang up my coat and take a week off, even if it feels well deserved. Justified. Certainly, it is tempting to, given the circumstances. Things are moving fast in the real world. Because I am young, a lot of things have happened while I was writing this series as well. But even so, does that mean the railways can take a break for one day if its operators feel like they should? No. Of course not. They get someone else to operate it. Out of the question.
Being the only operator, I do not have this flexibility. The only person who can do my writing is, indeed, myself. However, I do have greater flexibility in how to operate. Being the only operator, I set the standard, and I believe it is equally healthy for the station to write articles such as this every once in a while, especially now that there’s a pattern in the making. Granted, I expect the pattern to break now that I no longer run on the academic schedule, but who knows. Maybe there is a deeper pattern ingrained in me that will keep this cycle of brain activity going for the next few years.
Even if I do not experience this wind down at the next checkpoint in December, I may just write about it anyway. Just the act of writing helps me consolidate and comprehend my thoughts and experiences. They are a documentation of the past, reminding me of what I was thinking of long after those thoughts have left my head-space. When I went back and read those previous posts, I saw my understanding of this experience grow as I compare then-and-then and then-and-now. It may not be thirty stations later—school schedules are weird—but the main idea is still the same. This time, I am able to provide greater detail as to why my inactivity may have allowed me to get bored and come back wanting to try new things. This time, I describe all the reasons the experience is necessary before I even considered calling it a weakness. And this time, I am definitely able to put out much more words with serenity.
Funny enough, just as with Station 46, I have another addition to the Childish Rambling series in the works right now. It really shouldn’t be a surprise, as those posts are a result of my wandering, after all. Just as before, I wanted to spend some time dissecting the substance of the topic before I posted it. Expect that soon.
So, yes. I will check back on these feelings, even if my new cadence doesn’t produce the same feeling again. Though, who am I kidding. I am sure to return to this spot in the cog eventually.