Today is Chinese New Years.
I sat at the window, listening to the pitter-pattering of the rain outside. A dreary start to the new year, but I quite enjoy rain. I don’t know, it’s the most relaxing thing to listen to. Ba (Dad) told me I was like this because I was born on a rainy day, but I think that’s just superstition.
This year will be the year of the Dog. Next is the year of the Pig; my year of the zodiac. Which I think does not fit me at all, except maybe the laziness part.
A door slam echoed through the apartment, signifying Ma was home. I skipped school today, like most other Chinese students. And I’m not keen on being the only damn asian walking down the school corridors.
“Xiaoyu (my nickname), lunch is ready!” she announced in native tongue. I didn’t feel like getting up from my position; my back slouched against the alcove with my forehead pressed against the window. Ma entered the room I was in. “Come on, time to eat. Take your head off the windows, I just cleaned those two days ago.”
We had subs for lunch. Nothing special, as the big dishes were being prepared for the party later tonight.
“Ba Ba’s flight was delayed, so he will be arriving late today.” Dad went home to China to celebrate the new year with his extended family. Then he’s flying back to celebrate with us today, since, you know, east China is sixteen hours ahead of us. Chasing the sun, I suppose. Or in this case, the moon (that you can’t even see right now).
A little bubble popped open at the outer left corner of my vision. “Yo, wanna hang out today?” it read in English.
“Dear, turn those off,” Ma said in Chinese.
I double tapped the right end-piece of my glasses. “I can’t.” Another bubble popped up, confirming my reply.
“Then take them off.” Thinking I was talking to her, Ma switched to English. “You have normal glasses too. Today is supposed to be for family time.”
These are normal glasses. The other pair are old-fashioned. In other words, not-normal. Nevertheless, I complied and took off my glasses. But did not fetch my other pair. I’ll just spend the day with blurry vision.
Ma finished her sub, crumpling the wrap and standing up. “Time to prepare for tonight,” back to speaking Chinese. “Ma Ma (referring to herself) has taken the afternoon off from work. Come help me once you finish.”
I didn’t really want to, but sure, if it’ll make her happy. It’s not that I don’t celebrate Chinese New Years. I celebrate the tradition too, albeit not as rigorous as my parents do. Plus, I’ll take any holiday that gives me an excuse to skip school. What I don’t like, however, is playing house wife. Wash these dishes, cook these meals, and so on. I don’t want to do that and study medicine for the rest of my life. I just want to be a writer, as old-fashion as that sounds.
Yeah, I know, I shouldn’t be thinking so negatively on New Years. But… Fine, I’ll just leave it at that.
Finishing my sub, I threw the wrap away and went to the kitchen. Ma was slouched over her phone, probably searching up a recipe. She would perform a step, then go back to her phone.
“Ma, why don’t you use glasses? It’s much easier.”
“Too close for my eyes,” she replied. “And, Ma Ma likes having a screen I can touch.” Ma often did that; switch languages mid-conversation.
“But then you don’t have to keep going back and forth.”
She shook her head. “Not used to it. Ma Ma did not grow up with the devices you have today.”
“It’s easy once you use it a lot,” I shrugged.
“It’s easier to learn when you are young. That’s why I’m teaching you these things now.”
Of course Ma managed to tie things back to what we were doing.
“Furthermore, these are important life skills to learn, once you start your own family.”
“Ba Ba doesn’t seem concerned.”
“Your dad is different. He is expected to work and earn money for the family.”
“And conversely the women do the slave work,” I muttered.
“Yu Yu!” she sharply scolded. I immediately regretted my outburst.
“Our role is important too! Do not call it slave work!” She softened a little. “Women provide the structural foundation. Men provide the financial foundation. Neither can function without the other.”
“Why can’t it be the other way around?”
“If you can find a man who is willing, and you are capable of supporting the family (financially), then so be it. But there are not many men like that.”
“Why?”
“Just the way it is,” without fanfare. “A long time ago, it was the same. The men did the fighting, and the women stayed home. Because the men are biologically dispensable, while women are not.”
“But we’re not fighting wars anymore. Not the kinds they had a hundred years ago. We should change how things work now.”
“Change is difficult, especially with the kind of government we have,” she said with a sigh. “You will learn that once you are my age.”
Again, with the age thing. Do people seriously become retarded once they’re old?
“That’s not to say people haven’t already tried. When I was your age, there were several movements for gender equality.”
“How did those turn out?”
“They were a start. Things got better for working women. But ultimately, men’s role in society did not change the way you want it to.”
That’s a given.
Ma stopped and turned to me, smiling empathetically. “But, be positive now. Today is a new year. Think about the possibilities in the future.” She hugged me. “I’m glad you’re thinking about these now. Maybe one day you’ll help change the world.”
I stood still and didn’t hug back, but still felt warmth in the gesture.
We moved on to the rest of our preparations, but I couldn’t help but continue to think about it. As Ma continued to lecture about the New Years tradition, I thought about how these provided cultural stability, yet imprisoned people to a set of old beliefs. With the stability came slow progress, as people were not willing to change tradition set by generations of our ancestors.
I could feel this mode of thought rubbing off on me as well, as I felt like a rebel as I debated these thoughts. Perhaps because of this, I am not fit to upend the tradition. But perhaps I could prepare my children to do just that. Or perhaps I should not think that way, as that mode of thinking is why generations of people have not made much progress towards change.
My head started to hurt from playing the circular logic over and over. I’ll make a note to myself to revisit these topics once I’m more capable of thinking about them. For now, think positive, so.. uh… Welcome, year of the Dog. I guess.