Rough ideas for my work-in-progress novel ‘Wanderer.’
She softly sighed, leaning back into her chair. “In my youth, it felt as if life could go on forever.”
Rin shifted uncomfortably. Her shoulders sagged into her arms as her chin dug into the balcony railing. She watched the night lights twinkle under the cloudless sky. “I wish you could leave the Tree with me.”
Yuka gently laughed. “Well…” She paused for some time, her eyes falling to her lap. “Honestly… at this point, I don’t know if I would leave if I could.”
The breeze picked up, ruffling her nightgown. Rin’s hair swayed into her face, her eyes narrowing as she continued to stare blankly forward. Yuka took a sip of her tea before continuing.
“I’ve grown too comfortable here.”
“Won’t you feel lonely again if I go?”
“Of course.”
Rin ducked her face deeper into her arms. She didn’t look back at her.
“But, just as last time, I’ll find a way to cope.” Yuka looked back up, smiling. “There are many nice people in this town.”
“… It’s still not the same though.”
“… They helped me in the past. And they will help me again. You know… They feel it too. To them, you two are just as much their children as you are mine. Especially you. They watched you grow up since you were a little child.”
They were silent for a while.
“I’m happy for you, you know?” Yuka assured.
“Mn.”
“Don’t let me hold you back… This life… it won’t last forever. Live it while you can.”
“Yuka…” Rin shifted her head slightly, just enough to see her guardian in the corner of her eyes.
“If there’s anything I learned from this body of mine, there’s a sublime property to life. You can never get it back, no matter the price you pay.”
“…” She didn’t know what to say. Rin felt her face grow warm against the cool draft. She turned back towards the night. Her shoulders slowly rose and fell as she breathed.
“Truly… I didn’t expect you to leave again so soon. But I was sure the time would come. And I’m prepared for it. This town is too small for the likes of you two.”
As Yuka lifted her cup to take another sip, there was the creak of a door behind them. She turned her head towards the dark bedroom, seeing a dark, thin figure enter the room. Nozomi was back. Her hand lightly rested on the door, and the letter in the other. Her eyes squinted a little as she made out the two silhouettes on the balcony. “Rin?”
Rin turned around and straightened. She saw the letter in Nozomi’s hand. “You found it?”
Nozomi nodded.
“… And you read it?”
“Yes… What do you think about it?”
“I… The offer?”
“Well, I…” Nozomi ducked her eyes down. “… Nervous.”
“Eh?” Rin stared in surprise.
Yuka laughed. “You, nervous? I thought you’d be excited.”
“I am!” Nozomi looked up defensively, her eyebrows knitted. It was a complex expression, not of anger. “I’m excited to see everyone again… But… this conference… I don’t know.”
Rin studied her face. “What are you scared of?”
“Well… This isn’t for fun, is it? We’re going to represent the entire nation, right? What do we even say? What if something goes wrong?”
They were mum again. Rin flashed a glance at Yuka, who sipped her tea and silently returned her stare, indicating this was her conversation. Slowly, Rin returned her gaze to her sib, staring at her, standing alone in the room, illuminated by the moonlight. Her face was quiet. The perpetual smile she grew accustomed to wasn’t there. Replaced by drawn in lips and eyes that betray her anxieties. Rin hadn’t seen her this vulnerable in a long time. The sight was peculiarly calming, eliciting a sort of bravery within her. Rin eased her shoulders, relaxing her breaths.
Nozomi stared back and forth between the two. “… What?”
“No, I just…” A smile inadvertently broke out on her face. “You were the last person I thought would be scared.”
“Heh…?” Nozomi blushed, then puffed her cheeks into a pout, bringing her arms closer to her body. “Don’t… Don’t make fun of me!”
“Sorry, sorry.” Rin lightly chuckled. “I’m just… glad we feel the same way.”
Nozomi calmed down, her face lightening as she gradually realized what Rin meant. Then, she meekly smiled. “Ah… Well…”
They both stopped.
Yuka set down her teacup on her plate. “Do you really want to go, Nozomi?”
The girl straightened. “Yes. I want to see them again.”
“Then go,” she smiled. “And you will figure out the rest later.”