I didn’t move immediately. I replayed what I heard, over and over. Countlessly.
Hotaru kept her hand clutched to my sleeve, her grip gradually falling down. I felt her begin to fidget, swaying the branches. My shirt was pulled across my chest as her hand continued to drop. Eventually, I leaned forward on my toes again, and peered through our little slit inside the bushes. The deck was empty, and Father was gone. My hair raised.
“Big Sis?”
The front door was slightly open. Father must be inside.
“What do we do?”
My heart was still pumping. I brought a hand up to my chest, crumpling my shirt in my fist. Hotaru let go.
“Sorry.”
I lowered back to my heels, then got off my feet in a hunched stance. She stood up with me, and silently followed as I backtracked out of the bushes. We snuck back into the backyard.
What should we do? Act like nothing happened? Should we go inside? There was no way I could get Hotaru to pretend properly. There wasn’t enough time to teach her either. Should I pretend only Hotaru snooped? No, she would give me away anyway.
I ended up back at the garden patch. Uncertain what else to do, I stopped, mindlessly staring at the flowers. How beautiful they were. As fraught as I was to come up with the next steps, I let myself rest. I squatted down. My head spinning.
Hotaru stood at the edge of the patch, next to me. She didn’t kneel down. “Sis? Why did you come back here?”
I didn’t want to think anymore. I wished I could hide in the flowers. Shrink down, and become one of them. I stared without recourse. Deciding, whatever happens, happens. I gave up.
After an unknown amount of time, I felt her tug my shoulder. I looked up, and caught a glimpse of someone else as I did. But Hotaru wasn’t looking at me. And that person I saw was Father, standing a few yards away, watching us.
There was a look of frustration in his face, but at the same time, a tint of relief.
“Where were you two?”
We didn’t immediately answer. From the corner of my eye, I saw Hotaru look back down at me, as if expecting me to lead her. Father dropped his shoulders.
“How much did you hear?”
After a while, I shook my head. “Not much.”
He walked up behind us and squatted down, gently putting a hand on each of our shoulders. Little Sis tensed. I stared back down at the flowers. “Come inside. It’s about time I spoke to you two openly.”
I didn’t move. Hotaru mimicked my despondence. Father gently shook my shoulder. “Come on. I don’t have forever.”
I felt a numbing sting in my head. Slowly, I stood up, teetering a little bit. He guided us back indoors. To his desk. We sat on the floor, legs crossed. Including him.