As the clock turns to the 20’s, I continue to do what I often do, perhaps too much: think and reflect. The past ten years were quite formative why I am where I am today. Though, given the fact that those years take up almost half of my existence, it shouldn’t come as a surprise.
Here, on the station, I will focus on a narrower scope of time. One year, in particular. I did not participate in the same exercise at the cusp of 2018. I did, however, set out into 2019 with additional goals, which provides the opportunity to reflect on how they panned out.
The year started with Station 49. We were in the midst of a three-part series called ‘The Extent of Love.’ Shortly after was a caricature exercise called ‘The Strongest Emotion,’ a character-building series that focused on five different personalities responding to one simple question. Four stations later, the first chapter of ‘Treasured Pair’ was published, a war fantasy short that ended up being eight chapters long compared to my usual format of five. In the conclusion of that series, there was a period of downtime before I took up the next series which dominated the second half of the year: ‘Garden of Weeds.’ This is another war novel that focuses not on the soldiers, but the civilians. Even as the year ends, there is still one more chapter to go for said series. In fact, we arrived at the first triple-digit station with the conclusion of chapter 4.
So. The goals for this year.
One is a goal that has existed since the station’s establishment: publish a station every Friday at 20:00 UTC-5. This goal stayed true in 2019, even if there were a few weeks where I was swamped with work or uninspired with whatever I wrote.
The second goal was actually established before the founding of the station, but adopted into its schedule as 2019 rolled around the corner. It is a story that has showed up many times since the early days and announced as part of the station’s roadmap in the middle of the year. The publishing of ‘Of A Flower.’
Let’s dive into that, shall we?
The writing for Of A Flower was one of the three parts of my undergraduate thesis, completed in May of 2019. I knew early on in 2018 that I would not have the time to finish writing the story during my thesis, so I set a date to strive for. The end of 2019 was when I would publish the novel. As I graduated, I specified the goal; at the very least, the first chapter should be published in 2019. That date has obviously come and gone.
It is to my humility to admit the cause of this failure was the lack of discipline. I could pin the blame on the fact that I did not anticipate to get a job straight out of college; that I thought I would have some breathing time to write while I was unemployed. I could blame the fact that I’m still effectively crafting two stories in tandem, even if I’m writing one of them in smaller installments. The slow pace and scattered direction for the story’s writing style and audience resulted in a disinterest, a sentiment that bled into my motivation to develop my main novel.
But these excuses would be particularly puzzling, given that Treasured Pair was written during some of the most stressful times of my college career. It was a short story that I was pleased with. And sure, the decision to write two stories in tandem was one of those ideas I wouldn’t know if I could manage if I didn’t try. However, now that I know it is not yet a task I am up to, the next step is not to spout a stream of excuses. Something needs to change in the meantime, as I should not dawdle on the same method for too long if it is not working. I knew the risks, and now I must own up to them.
Moving forward into 2020, I will finish the writing for Garden of Weeds and dedicate my focus solely to it. Since the story reserves most of its closure and “moral of the story” until the very end, leaving it hanging would leave it incredibly weak, even if some of its charm is to capture the naivety of childhood. After then, I will reinstate the goal of finishing Of A Flower, with new conditions.
Rather than fret over the task of getting it perfect on release, I will work on the novel in installments just as I did with Garden of Weeds. This way, I am tapping into the solid foundation provided by Goal One—publishing every week—to compel myself to develop the novel on a weekly basis, effectively comparable to progress reports on the project.
Admittedly, I believe this process will make the writing harsh on the edges, but it will provide a foundation to grow from. After all, if my goal is to get the story published by a traditional imprint, the writing certainly will not be identical to how it is on publishing day. Even to this date, when I go back and read Treasured Pair or ‘A Bud in the Rising Sun,’ I notice mistakes I made or disagree with the way I worded some sentences. The beauty of electronic publishing lies in the ability to go back and edit posts after their release. Although, in the case with stories published in installments, such as Garden of Weeds, I am inclined to republish them in full chapters to obtain better control over the pacing and clean up the amount of clicks required to read from start to finish. Perhaps I will pursue the same method for Of A Flower.
Once all of the installments are published, I will consider the goal achieved and work on the refinements in my own downtime. As I don’t expect the series to take up the rest of the stations for the year, I am establishing a third goal for the year: to publish a second story at a caliber comparable to A Bud in the Rising Sun. A story with at least five sequential chapters (unlike The Strongest Emotion) that is worthy of my Author’s Choice tag. This early on in my career, I need to move on from Of A Flower eventually and not leave all my eggs in one basket.
With this atypical post, I aim to establish my key goals for the year with the same openness I began this station with. It admits my failures, lays out how I plan to address them, and provides self-imposed accountability. That is not to say I did not have any successes this year. Treasured Pair was the longest and most intricate story I have written on the station thus far. And I still maintain my streak of posting every single week for almost two years now. But progress is made through addressing the failures just as much as capitalizing on the successes. Hopefully, at this same moment next year, I will have more to say about my successes for the year than I did this year. And that very hope is what keeps me writing.
Happy New Year,
— taikode