This story is part of the Wanderer series.
“I share your disapproval of the Organization, but your hatred will only cloud your mind.”
“I don’t need to hear your sermons. I know what I am doing.”
Patiently, holding back a sigh, Alisan continues to press her. “I’m not trying to lecture you. I am offering a warning—”
“Why do you care so much about it?!” Slamming her palm down on a closed book, Karin violently shoves it to the side, throwing a pile of books off the table with it. “What do you know of the pain of losing your parents?!”
Alisan jumps a bit in her seat as the books thump against the carpeted floor of the study room, her shoulders tensing for a moment and her heartbeat elevating. Her arms instinctively draw in, her hands drawing away from her book and clutching the table, as if she expected to get struck. However, she manages to maintain some composure, keeping her eyes locked on Karin’s piercing dark blue eyes, glimmering against the sunset with anguish. Karin’s arms were defiantly poised by her sides, fists clenched, but she made no advancement towards Alisan, staying outside striking range. Eventually, Alisan calms down and drops her eyes down to the table.
“… I see… Well… I…”
It made sense to her now where all of this princess’ hatred came from. Alisan hesitates for a moment, drawing upon her memories and considering how much to reveal.
“I still remember the day the elder monks told me my parents went missing…”
“…!” With an inaudible gasp, Karin’s expression transforms. Her furrowed brows lighten, and her shoulders slack.
“The feeling of grief… and despair… being lost without them…” She reaches out and rests her fingers around a scroll on the table, caressing it. Soon after, her fingers wrap around to grip the scroll. “Then the feeling of anger… and resentment… against fate… asking myself, ‘Why did it have to be me? Why did it have to be my parents?’”
Silently, Karin drops her eyes to the floor, her gaze lost in thought as she recalls her own memories of the moment she found out her parents were dead.
“However…”
Karin looked back up as Alisan continued.
“I found a way to conquer that anger. The monks guided me to peace, and I learned to let go.”
Karin frowns again. But this time, her eyes betray an inkling of uncertainty. “You and I are different. You lost your parents. Mine were killed. And I know who killed them.”
“What good will come out of your vengeance?” Alisan glanced up from the scroll and leaned slightly forward. “How many obstacles will you cut down to fulfill that hatred?”
Karin raises her voice. “I will conquer all of them. That is what I swore upon the grave of my parents! No matter how many the Organization sends after me, I will acquire the power to get rid of them all!”
The sharp words pierced her heart. Abruptly, Alisan stands up, palming the table and raising her voice a little more. “Even if it means plunging your nation into war?! Killing your friends and family?!”
Taken aback by this question, Karin’s voice falters as she blindly replies, “Yes, even if it means war…”
Reigning back her tone a little, Alisan lowers her voice along with Karin’s. “What if your family opposes it? Would you kill them to gain control of the nation?”
“That won’t happen,” she adamantly denied. “They understand my anger…”
Alisan opens her mouth, but hesitates a moment before she quietly proposes a dreadful scenario. “What if some of your family members worked for the Organization?”
A ghastly shade wipes over Karin’s face, as if she is facing a moment of revelation. But her shock quickly converts to anger, glaring menacingly at Green with clenched fists and gritted teeth. “My family… would… never… do that. How dare you dishonor them—”
“The Organization isn’t a nation,” Alisan calmly interrupts. “They’re a group of individuals from all over the world and specialize in unorthodox warfare. They hide themselves within the foundations of other nations and tear them apart from the inside.”
Karin closes her mouth, standing speechless yet maintaining her glaring gaze.
Lifting her palms off the table, Alisan straightens to stand tall. “But you know that already… don’t you? Based on what I’ve read from your research… you know how scattered the Organization is.”
A long silence drags out as the two stand there, facing each other directly. Karin’s gaze had dropped down the books she scattered in her rage.
Alisan lowers her voice to a murmur. “That’s what they thrive on… Making people paranoid about each other to the point where they can’t trust anyone anymore. Even the Castle of Knowledge… one of the most isolated places on the continent, practices extreme caution against the Organization. They limit the castle’s knowledge to the Enlightened priests, who can never leave the castle grounds.”
Karin lowers her chin even further, hunching her shoulders and shutting her eyes tightly. She subtly raises her right hand, as if reaching for something unreachable, then clenches her fist again. “That…”
“There’s a limit to how much one person can do,” Alisan softly adds, trying to reach out to her. “Don’t shoulder it all by yourself.”
“So you’re telling me to give up.” Muttering through her lips, Karin’s voice is almost a whisper.
“No, I’m telling you that—”
Karin opens her eyes wide and whips her head up again. In a fluid motion, her right arm sweeps in front of her and swiftly pulls her short sword from her sheath, swinging it in an arc to point at Alisan. She takes a step back in surprise.
“What right do you have to tell me what to do?!” Karin demands in almost a teary voice. “What right—! Do you have?!”
Noticing the tears in her eyes, Alisan shouts back with her own impassioned plea. “I’m telling you this for your own good!”
“Why do you care?!” she hollered. “Why can’t you mind your own business and give me what I need?!”
Grabbing the ledge of the table with both hands, Alisan hunches over, dipping down her face, blinding herself to the blade pointed towards her. She shuts her eyes and wrenches her voice. “Because I care about you!!!”
Silence. The blade wavers. Taken aback by her response, Karin shifts her weight backwards, her brows unfurrowing once again. Her unbridled anguish relents even further this time, turning into utter confusion as she stares at the younger girl in front of her, head bowed.
“It saddens me to see you suffering like this…” Alisan finally spoke, voice trembling. Glints of light begin to drop from her face. “I know you can be a kind and caring person… even in this short time together. I don’t want that to drown from your wrath and hatred.”
“…” Slacking her arm, Karin says nothing. Her eyes narrow, spilling out more of her tears as she weighs Alisan’s words.
“I cannot silently sit by and watch. I’ve done enough watching.”
She finally looks up at Karin, revealing her teary eyes.
“So please, don’t go down the path of vengeance.”
Seeing her tear-sodden face unexpectedly compels Karin to look away, dropping her gaze down to the table. Her hand trembles as her tears glaze her sight, pooling more and more, much to her annoyance. She knew she could not hide them anymore. She knew she failed to do so long before.
The tip of her blade drops. Then, just as quickly, her arm raises into the air, high above her head, bringing the sword with it. Alisan’s eyes widen, lips lightly gasping, as she follows the blade up towards the ceiling. But she could not move, every muscle in her body bracing for the strike, like it is accepting her fate.
After a brief suspension in the air, Karin opens her grip, fluently flipping the sword in her hand, and brings it down. There is a loud thunk as the tip of the blade lodges into the hardwood table, slightly jolting the scattered contents.
Another moment of silence between the two follows. Karin grits her teeth. With her long strands of hair falling off her shoulders and veiling her face, she shuts her eyes and allows her tears to roll. Alisan keeps her eyes transfixed on the blade, her heart racing as her mind catches up on what just happened. Gradually, her shoulders loosen as the perceived danger waned.
“Then…” Karin began. It was her voice shaking this time. “What do I do…? Everything until this point… for nothing?”
Alisan looks at Karin with pity for a few seconds, her voice still not ready.
“The elders…” her voice cracked. She cleared her throat before she continued. “… taught me to first let go of my emotions… then… fill myself with love.”
“That’s a weak response,” Karin mutters, keeping her head down.
Alisan nevertheless continues. “Surround yourself with your friends, your family, anyone you care about.”
Reflecting on her own words, a smile unexpectedly breaks on her face as she looks down at the book in front of her.
“Someone special taught me what it was like to have a friend… Someone you can count on to be there when you need them the most. That is a feeling I will never forget.”
Karin lets go of her sword and drops her hand down to her side as she stares blankly at the floor. Seeing this, Alisan buckles and falls to her knees to her own surprise. Measuring herself, she realizes she was trembling, her hands shaking in front of her. Karin is slightly startled by the abrupt action, but quickly recognizes her menacing aura to the girl. Staring at the lodged sword with disinterest for a little longer, she eventually turns around and walks away. Peeking just above the table, Alisan watches the princess move towards the door, but then turn to disappear behind a bookshelf.