The atmosphere felt thick, as if rain was about to descend upon the camp, yet there were no clouds in the sky. The night was airless, without a breeze, yet eerily cool to the skin. It made Ishtar feel uncomfortable as she crouched in the shade, staring up at the twinkling stars through the branches of outstretching oak. Eyes lost amongst the heavens, she eventually sighs and stands up. Tidying herself, she gets out of the tallgrass and returns up the hill, towards the cliff enclave.
The fire crackled with the heavy chirps of the night. Kalil was still there, sitting on a log across the fire from her sister as she slept. Fatima was tucked in right under the rocks, her head engulfed in her bag, peacefully snoozing. Kalil appeared to aimlessly stare at the fire, though his hunched posture made it clear he was watching the camp for any visitors. Her approach was not so quiet either way, dry branches sharply snapping under her feet.
Ishtar silently rejoined her sister’s side, pulling up her beige skirt as she sat down next to the fire. Despite the stifled night, the fire was sputtering, dying down in its makeshift pit. The man discreetly raised a hand to the fire, opening his palm and gradually lifting it. The fire rose with him, strengthening until it no longer flickered. Only then did the man lean back, his eyes returning to the horizon. The moonlit savanna was just as lazy as the breeze, the tallgrass completely still.
“Hey,” the girl spoke. “Teach me about magic again.”
Kalil did not move. “At this hour?”
“Yes. I don’t feel like sleeping.”
Silence. Then, he finally turned his head. “What else is there for me to say?”
The girl keenly smiled. “I don’t know. It feels like you’re holding back something.”
He simply blinked. “Any more and I would be teaching you how to use magic.”
“Yes, yes, please do!”
But the man shook his head. “Magic is not something to be casually wielded.”
“Hey!” she whined. “Have faith! I won’t use it for harm!”
“Magic can do harm without the user intending for it.”
“Then teach me about that, too.” Her eyes stayed resolute, glimmering from the fire.
“That is not something I can teach overnight.”
“I’ve got to start somewhere!”
Kalil stared long and hard at the girl with a tint of sadness in his eyes. The girl slowly blushed the longer he stared.
“Dear, it is a responsibility I am not ready to pass onto you.”
Ishtar finally took some time to weigh his words. Her eyes flicked between the mage and the crackling campfire.
“Is it that serious…?”
“Yes. Magic starts wars.”
“I mean, for a good-willed girl like me.” She straightened. “I just want to make a campfire.”
“War can turn the good evil.”
“Even good girls like me?” she pleaded. “Only men fight wars. I promise I won’t use your magic for anything like that!”
His eyes shifted to the sleeping girl next to Ishtar. “Then, how about this?”
The girl leaned forward, naively excited.
“Suppose I teach you fire magic, and—”
“Yes, yes!”
“… and you master it just enough to make a good campfire… You become good enough to make great campfires for feasts…”
“Yes, let’s start there!”
“Now, a war breaks out.”
The smile leaves her face.
“One of the armies comes to you and orders you to fight for them.”
Kalil pauses to let the girl take in his words.
“But… why would they want a girl like me to fight?”
“Because you know magic.”
“But, girls can’t fight!”
“You don’t have to. You can perform arson.”
“…”
“In their eyes, women are the perfect subjects to sneak their way into an opposing village and light a few fires before an attack.”
The two sat in silence, listening to the fire crackle. She fumbled to find her voice.
“Th-then… I won’t do it. I won’t help these bad people with their war.”
The mage nodded, and Ishtar sighed in relief, comfortable that she passed his test. With a flick of his finger towards her, he continued.
“They have your sister. They will kill her if you don’t do what they say.”
Ishtar froze.
“Are you ready for that responsibility?”
This time, she was truly speechless. Her shock slowly turned to grief, then anger, not towards the man, but towards the shrewdness of these imaginary soldiers he concocted, and, towards herself, unable to come up with a solution; frustrated she may be wrong.
“I won’t allow it,” she whispered through gritted teeth. “I won’t allow them to touch her.”
“You will fight them, then?”
“No! It’s self defense!”
“Girls can’t fight,” he reminded her of her words.
“It’s not fighting! It’s self defense!”
“Self defense is fighting.”
“Not if you run!”
“And how will you use this fire to help you run? Burn a fire behind you?”
“… M-Maybe…”
“Would you burn down a village so that you and your sister can escape?”
“… I…”
“Furthermore, how can I trust you will hold all these promises you made to me, let alone remember them, in the middle of a fight for your life?”
The girl became quiet, her head drifting towards the ground. With this, the man finally relented, easing the tone of his voice.
“I am sorry, I cannot teach you. Even something as simple as starting a campfire. I need you to know, magic is not the miracle you believe it is. It is a depraved art.”
“…”
“The example I gave you was not nuanced at all, either. There are other situations that run a fine line between good and evil.”
Ishtar leant forward, raising her head, the agitation still present in her voice. “Then, why do you practice magic?!”
“Because I was once as naive as you.”
Retreating, the girl softened.
“And, for it, the weight of my responsibilities were greatly diminished. I am now nothing but a wandering shepherd.”
As naive as she was, she understood this mage’s words.
“You don’t have a family, do you?” she asked.
“No. They all died in the war.”
“Is that why you travel around these plains, helping out any lost soul you find?”
“Perhaps. Or, perhaps, I would have become a caring shepherd anyway.”
Ishtar looked off to the side, eyes lowering. “Isn’t that a lonely journey?”
“It is. However, I do not wish to change it.”
Drawing together her shoulders, blushing, she forced herself to meet him in the eyes. “You don’t wish to settle down with someone one day? Surround yourself with smiles and a loving wife?”
“No. I must atone for my sins.”
“Haven’t you done that already?”
“No, there is still much to do.”
“Then when? When will it be enough?”
The mage silently thought to himself for a moment, gazing back out at the moonlit landscape. “Perhaps a lifetime.”
“A lifetime?!” she exclaimed. “I can’t wait that long!”
“No one said you had to follow me.”
“I want to! But… you don’t make it easy…”
“This is not an easy journey.”
Ishtar flailed her hands a little. “And just for that, you would take away my chance to stay together?!”
Turning, Kalil looked at her long and hard. “We have only known each other for less than a moon.”
“You saved me! Isn’t that enough of a reason to love someone?”
“…”
“I’ve learned more from you in these few days than I can ever recall!”
“Dear, do you know how old I am?”
“I don’t care. I want to stay with you.”
He gestured once more. “What about your sister?”
“She wants to stay with me. She’ll come along.”
Kalil stayed silent for a good while. The crackling of the fire took over their night, the girl waiting in silence this time.
“You are not the first person to desire my company,” he warned.
Ishtar pulled back, slightly aghast. “What do you mean?”
“Someone else once requested to stay by my side.”
And, as she could see, that person was clearly gone, no longer with him. Kalil was without company when they first met.
“What happened to the first?”
“I found her a caring home. She changed her mind.”
She dipped her head, hiding a sigh of relief. “Then she wasn’t good enough, then.”
The mage shook his head. “She had a strong resolve, yet she still had a change of heart.”
“If that’s true, then why did she leave?”
“A strong resolve does not mean you cannot change your course,” the mage explained. “Nothing lasts forever. New opportunities will arise. Keep yourself open to change. That is my advice.”
“Fine, fine,” the girl scoffed. “I will, I will. Will that make you happy?”
The mage nodded. “As long as you truly uphold your words, then I will be satisfied.”
With this, Ishtar blithely smiled with a wide grin. “If I do, will you teach me the responsibility of magic, then?”
“We will see… when that time comes.”