As Jane settled for another sip, I went for a sip of mine. Looking out at the clearing, it inexplicably drew me out of the comfort of my lounge. The florets swayed in waves with the breeze, a mesmerising pattern that looked almost unnatural. I remembered the spirit, and my heart skipped a beat. With a quick scan, I couldn’t find her, but that did not mean she was not watching. These two ladies, alone outside, blathering without an eye out to the woods.
“Do you still have no plans to marry?”
I returned to my companion, her expression sober once more, gazing down as she took a sip. She left her question hanging with no intention to continue until satisfied.
“… No.”
Jane silently nodded, swapping her trays once more.
“I don’t see the charm in marrying, and why anyone would be interested in a bushy browed, secluded lady.”
“Wouldn’t it be blissful to have children?” She took a bite, smiling naively at the floor as she fancied the idea herself.
“… Perhaps. I don’t know. I’ve never… It’s never been an interest… you know. I haven’t felt that way towards anyone. To want to raise children with them.”
“This cottage would be a brilliant home to do so.”
“That was Father’s intention. To raise me here, then pass it over for me to raise mine.”
The sunlight waned as it fell behind the clouds. Our setting darkened briefly, sapping the colour out of our characters. In time, the light slowly returned.
“I still worry about you, you know… living out here by yourself.”
I laughed it off. “I hope you aren’t becoming like all those other loonies who prophesize a—”
“It’s not like that!” Jane grew flustered. Clearly she didn’t appreciate the comparison. “My concern is genuine! Not like some twit that’s paranoid about being overrun by ghosts!”
Pausing, I stepped back my humor. “I’ve lived this long without a fuss. I don’t see anything that may endanger that.”
“Ladies need to stick in pairs. It’s just a fact we cannot avoid.”
“You walk out here by yourself,” I pointed out, drawing my cup to my mouth.
“Well… what else am I supposed to do?” She lightly flailed her hands to a shrug. “Someone has to accompany you! I mean, I don’t faff about. I keep a close lookout to make sure I’m not leading anyone suspicious. And I’d walk in circles around the country if I thought something was out of the ordinary! That’s why I’m usually late!”
I was taken aback. I had no idea she went to that great of a length for me.
“I mean…” She backed off, seemingly aware of the awkward position she put me in. “You know, I don’t mean to shame you into, you know, getting together with some bloke you’ve just met. Take your time, you know…”
Her voice trailed off. I lowered my cup without a sip, blankly staring at the table. For countless seconds, there was silence. This was not something I had given much thought before. Nothing drastic ever happened to me. The past few months, the past year, the past three years, five years… I always felt this was a safe town. Sure, I heard news about bar fights, domestic violence, back alley muggings, gang violence, all sorts of bad things… but… I suppose… they felt distant. Why would those happen to me? I was smart. I was informed. It was not like I heedlessly ambled into trouble. I stuck to the big streets, never made a fuss, dressed fairly plainly, most of the time, rarely attended any public gatherings, always made it back home before sunset. I did not need someone else to follow me around, guarding me every step of the way. I didn’t make any enemies. Hardly anyone would recognise me, and that was fine. If I disappeared tomorrow, the world could easily forget me. Was that a good thing? Was it a normal part of life for a woman to have faced a drastic turning point by now? A rite of passage? Was Father’s passing not enough? Was I just that sheltered? Why was Jane particularly worried? What had she gone through? What was her exposure to this world she paints? Do we really need to be this paranoid?
Stick in pairs… I guess we sort of were a pair. It was not always like this. Gone were the days I would only get to see her once a month or so. When she had other commitments to attend to. I then remembered. Remembered her previous pair.
“You still haven’t found anyone else, no?”
Jane drew in her breath and let out a lengthy sigh, resting in her palm as she leaned to the side. “All the men these days are looking to take something. There’s really no replacing Al.”
My heart ached for her on the mentioning of that name. “… What’s been taken?”
“Well… you know… I…” She gazed off to the side, her lips aimlessly moving without a word, then drawing back, pursed in frustration, still tense and intent of finishing her thought. But she did not elaborate. “They took Al. They took him with their silly war.”
I didn’t dig any further. Her voice was growing bitter. Alfred really was the perfect match for Jane. Loud, gutsy, if not a bit lanky, but full of life. I knew him too, from school. I remembered the day Jane told me they were engaged, how happy she was. How happy they looked. How happy I was for the two of them.
“Anyway…” She brightened up. “There’s no other man who would take on an impudent woman like me. No way anyone would put up with a woman bossing their man around.”
There was still some sadness in her voice. I tried to help her out. “Well… I’m sure, somewhere up there, he’s shaking up the heavens, begging to differ with you on that.”
She got a kick out of this and started laughing breathlessly. “Yes, I’m sure.” She wiped her eyes, smiling down at the ground. “That poor Al… What would he do without me?”
Silence once more. Satisfied with the shift in mood, I went to finish my sip. Jane returned to her fruit tart as she stared out at the clearing, lost in thought. The sponge cake was still untouched, but I did not speak up, nor move to cut it. With my elbows rested and the tea in my lap, I watched the flowers with her.
A wave of hot air swept across my body. Even under the shade, there was no escape from the sweltering summer. Melting into the backrest, I brought up my hand to wipe my forehead and brush my hair aside in one motion, breathing out. My head spun a little, growing heavy as I thought about what was said. Though numbing, enticing me to blank out, it was a good feeling. I grew aware of my heartbeat. My chest heaving a bit. It’d been a long time since we had a heart to heart discussion like this. One with quite a whirlwind of emotion. Leaving me in question. My perspective in turmoil. How I became aware of my mortality. The people I knew. The bond between us further entangled. It felt like there was a lot more to say, but I could not bring them together. I could not think anymore, lounging back. Happily enjoying the presence of a dear friend in silence. The drone of cicadas. And the forest wind. Crashing of leaves. A steady stream. Returning, familiar. Listening.