“Aimi, we need to talk.”
I knew this was going to happen.
“Ai?”
“I have nothing to say.”
Father sat down on the floor, next to me. “There’s something I need to tell you.”
I didn’t look at him.
He continued anyway. “Yesterday, a town thirty kilometers east from here was bombed.”
“…” Bombed? Here?
“Did you and your friends go that direction?”
“… No.”
“Answer me sincerely, Ai.”
“No!” I whipped around to face him. Father didn’t budge. “I’m not a little kid anymore! Why do you keep treating me like one?!”
“Ai, you’re eight.”
“… That’s not little anymore!”
“Then, what do you know about what I just told you?”
“….. Well… It’s the devils’ work, right?”
“… No.”
“…? Is it not?”
Father sighed. “It’s not that simple, Ai.”
“What do you mean?”
He didn’t immediately respond.
“… Why not?”
“… When something like this happens, the first thing you do is come home. Understand?”
“I wasn’t anywhere near the—”
“Do you hear me?”
“… I…”
“When the bombs drop, there’s nothing you can do to stop them. Neither of us can stop them.”
“… Then… what difference does it make coming back?”
“Then at least we’re all together. And I can help you make decisions on where to run.”
“Can’t we just scare them away?”
“They’re not demon spirits, Ai…” Father stopped and stared at me with a grave expression. “They’re humans just like you and me. Superstition won’t save you from them.”
“…..” I didn’t speak anymore. We just sat together in awkward silence. I thought about what Father said and recalled the tarnished air from yesterday’s sky.
“You said you’re not a little kid anymore. Then, are you ready to take on the responsibility of being the older sister?”
I stared at the floor, fiddling with the doll in my hands. “I already do more chores than Little Sis does,” I pouted.
“It isn’t a matter of how much you do. It’s a matter of what you do.”
“What else do you want me to do?!” I whined. “It’s not fair! I didn’t ask to be the older sister!”
“And I didn’t ask to be the eldest brother.” Father remained resolute. “But it’s just the way it is. And you learn to take up that responsibility.”
“Haven’t I sacrificed enough for her?” I started to cry. “I’m always cleaning up after her, I’m always taking the pain for her…! I’m always… always…!” I stammered. Everything around me was becoming a glassy mess. “…giving…! and all she does is take! If it weren’t for her, Mother would still be here!”
“…! Aimi!”
There was a new anger to his voice. One I had never heard before. I jumped out of my skin. My vision immediately cleared. The person I saw in front of me looked like a stranger. It wasn’t Father. His face had a rage like thunder. Who was I talking to this entire time?
Then, slowly, it softened. His eyes flicked around very subtly, examining me. Judging me. Then, fleeting distress. Then, a look of pity. Father returned. But he still looked different. There was a complexity to his expression that I couldn’t discern. It was sadness and anger altogether.
Father’s eyes finally looked away. He was looking at something behind me. Then, after a while, he got up. And left the room.